Turn back the hands of time
by cyndaquilka
Summary: Byleth wakes up after the final battle with the Empire, only to find herself during her first confrontation with Sothis. With partial memories of the previous years, she's convinced her goal is to stop Edelgard from unleashing the war.
1. Chapter 1

A sea of eternal darkness.

That's all she saw after she opened her eyes. The blackness of the bottomless pit that reached as far as the horizon. If there even was a horizon, the woman corrected herself.

Was this how death looked like?

Byleth made a few uncertain steps forward and looked around once more. What she saw nearly made her scream. A few steps away, there stood a little girl.

"Honestly!" the girl shouted in an irritated voice. There was no echo, Byleth noticed. "What are you accomplishing with that little stunt?!"

Her brows furrowed slightly. It wasn't everyday that she was being scolded by a child.

"What…?" said Byleth blankly.

"It's like you're trying to get me killed, you fool!" Having expected a more spectacular reaction than a wide-eyed stare, the girl raised her voice even further. "Hey! I'm talking to you. Are you even listening?"

Then, something clicked. Like two parts of a single mechanism or two pieces of the same puzzle. Byleth's memory offered her an answer to her question. One of the many more she'd been having at the moment.

"Sothis!"

She remembered now. Byleth knew this child. No, not a child − a goddess trapped in an ethereal body of a child. But this couldn't be her. She ceased to exist on the woman's eyes.

"Where am I?"

Sothis tilted her head, giving Byleth a stern but worried look.

"Aren't you acting a little weird? Don't worry, it's probably due to your near-death experience. Fortunately for you, I have stalled the flow of time for now. Had I not intervened, you would have died while trying to save one young girl."

"Edelgard." The princess of the Adrestian Empire Byleth protected from the bandits.

But this was a long time ago.

The woman felt light-headed all of a sudden. Her knees were weak, her hearing compromised. Instinctively, she wanted to grab something, anything that would prevent her from falling. Around her, there was only emptiness.

"Hey! Are you feeling alright?" asked Sothis in a high-pitched voice, alarmed by Byleth's pale face. "Don't you dare faint on me! I have no way of catching you."

With a loud thud, Byleth sat heavily on the floor. Minutes have passed. She took the time to collect herself before speaking her mind.

"I can't be here," she said, eyes on her own hands. "I was with Dimitri. We were fighting the Imperial army, and then… then… I can't remember what happened next."

Sothis was circling Byleth. Observing her with increasing curiosity, as if she was a rare specimen. Her constantly moving face was making the woman even more sick.

"Dimitri?" asked the Goddess, thoughtful. "Is that the blond courteous boy or the curly-haired smarty?"

"You don't understand!" Byleth burst out. Her tone was uncharacteristically emotional, full of fear and desperation. "I've already been here, we've had this conversation."

Sothis came to a halt.

"Does it mean we've met before? I have no recollection of you. But then, I don't even remember my own name."

"Sothis," said Byleth, back to her usual stoic self. "Your name is Sothis. I must have− no, you must have turned back the hands of time to get me here. I want to go back. Now!"

The Goddess recoiled but only for a second.

"Whoa, easy there! Remember who you're speaking to," she reprimanded. "Whatever happened, you can't blame this on me. My powers allow me to go back seconds, not weeks or months."

"Years."

Years of her life that she was never getting back. The best things that had ever happened to her − gone, forever. The reality of the situation dawned upon Byleth. She was close to tears.

"Hey, don't worry! You're alive and that's what's important, right? We'll get you back. All you need to do is wait a few years. You'll be there in a blink of an eye!"

For reasons unknown to Sothis, her revelation did not lift the woman's spirit. With a gloomy look on her face, Byleth pointed out a major flaw in the Goddess's plan.

"I can't. I don't remember every choice I ever made. Wherever I end up, it won't be the same."

"Then make new ones!" said Sothis, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world. "See? Problem solved."

"New choices?" Byleth didn't seem enthusiastic at all.

"What is your problem now? You know the outcome of your previous choices, so now you make new, better ones! What would you have done without me, now? You truly are like a child wandering in the fog."

Truth be told, Byleth would go to great lengths to simply get back what she once had. However, if this was not an option, Sothis's idea seemed like a second best solution.

"You made me all sleepy again with your silly problems," the Goddess complained with a huge yawn. "Are you ready to go back?"

With some hesitation, the woman nodded.


	2. Chapter 2

Back in the monastery, Byleth was overwhelmed by a powerful feeling of nostalgia.

The last time she saw this place, it was in ruin. Devastated by the five-year war between all the factions of Fódlan. On countless nights, the woman's thoughts drifted back to her year as the professor. She wished she could go back to those peaceful times where everything was much simpler. Where she was just another teacher, and her students were optimistic young people with their own dreams and ideals. Not conflicting country rulers that were fighting each other on the battlefield.

Why was she here?

Byleth couldn't shake off the thought that something in her future must have happened to cause her to go back. That there must have been something important she was not remembering. This impression alone was just as irritating as an itchy wound she couldn't scratch for the life of her.

Meanwhile, she walked along the path she used to take on every Sunday. The only difference was, there were no interruptions. No people saying "Hello, Professor!" as they passed her by. No choir practices for her to attend. No undergarments lost by Sylvain's current flings. No adorably inappropriate love letters to be delivered to the unsuspecting receivers.

Her heart leapt in her chest at the sight of a familiar face. Byleth swiftly walked towards the man and gave him a heartfelt hug.

"Hey, there! What was this all about, kid?" said Jeralt in an awkward manner, patting his daughter on the back. He was not used to public displays of affection. "It's the third time you've hugged me since the fight in the forest. I guess I shouldn't have worried you so much before the battle, now, should I?"

She should have more control over her own feelings, Byleth realized. She didn't want to raise suspicions. The problem was, she wasn't the same woman that she'd been when she first set foot in the monastery. Her experiences had changed her, even if the woman could not always recall the specific events. There was one particular moment Byleth could recall, though. This was the reason all she could think about at this very moment were two simple words.

_You're alive!_

"I've missed you," the woman said out loud, her voice muffled by Jeralt's clothes.

Her father's face lit up with an uncomfortable smirk.

"Come on now, I've been away from your sight for less than thirty minutes." The man cleared his throat before continuing. "Listen, there is one thing you need to know. This," he gestured around, "is going to be our new home. You'd better take a look around."

Reluctantly, Byleth stepped away from her parent, adjusted her hair.

"Yes, of course. I'll catch up with you later."

After sending her a confused look, Jeralt went on about his business. Byleth was once again left to her own thoughts.

A certain idea started forming in the back of her head.

Maybe Sothis was right, after all. She wasn't there to simply re-live her life − that would be a waste of time. She had a different purpose. Rather than keeping every detail the same, she needed to change things. She had to find a better outcome.

She had to save her father.

In the distance, she spotted the Black Eagle house. She made the turn in their direction. When the kids ran out of the room to greet her, the woman felt a distinct stab in her heart. She forgot how cheerful these students once were. How enthusiastically they reacted to her mere presence. How they were all calling for her attention. Even the house leader.

Edelgard.

A pleasant feeling was soon replaced with a vivid image, as clear as though Byleth was seeing it right now. The continent in ruin. Pools of blood split on every border. Former professors and class colleagues killing one another. Lances verses axes. Axes versus bows. Her blade in between, finishing off everyone that stood on her path. Edelgard's blind obsession with her twisted ideals that started it all.

Without giving it more thought, Byleth approached the house leader. The young girl smiled at her before asking one simple question.

"Will you lend your services to the Empire, Professor?"

Byleth looked the girl straight in the eye as she made her resolution. She knew what she was sent to do.

She must stop Edelgard from unleashing the war.


	3. Chapter 3

It took Byleth surprisingly little time and effort to jump back into the previously established routine. A couple of weeks after getting her teaching post, the woman felt like she'd been a professor her whole life. From memory, she was even able to recreate some of her lesson schedules. Thanks to them, both lectures and seminars had a sense of familiarity. As if she'd already done them before.

Only the students were different.

"Uh, P−Professor. Would I… Could you maybe− Can I open the window?"

Whatever experiences she might have previously shared with these kids, Byleth could recall very little about the Black Eagles. Thank Goddess she at least got their names right, because Sothis knew she had problems with everything else. Whenever she found a lost item, the woman ended up walking around the entire monastery, trying to hand it back to every one of her students. Only to find out that the object actually belonged to a Golden Deer or a faculty member.

This gave Byleth a pause. Did Edelgard's men rarely socialize with people outside their own house? This would certainly explain why she didn't know much about them.

Or maybe she'd simply forgotten.

Fortunately, the students were very friendly towards their new professor. Even though the newest addition to the staff was keeping the details from her life private, wore an expressionless face, and apparently lacked a few social skills. Years of being the youngest mercenary, a woman nonetheless, meant that she lacked proper manners, a formal way of speech, and many other features that were usually associated with crest-bearers. The more happy she was that the Black Eagles accepted her into their inner circle. She liked them a lot. They were good kids, really.

Still, she couldn't help but miss the Blue Lions.

"Here you are, Professor!" Sylvain said to Byleth just the other day. "I must tell you, I can't get over the fact that I'm not taught by such a beauty as yourself. Just imagine all of my potential that could be unleashed in your capable hands! So, what do you say? Can I join in your class?"

She couldn't help but smirk. It was somehow comforting to have this one person that found her pretty regardless of her house choice.

Now, the woman was standing outside the Blue Lions room, looking through the window at her former students. There was a kind-hearted Mercedes that never turned her back on those in need. Next to her sat Annette, who cooked the best Nirvana Cake Byleth'd ever had. Ashe, an ever-optimistic soul, as well as her source of good chivalry novels. Sylvain, of course; always in the centre of attention. Ingrid, whose goal was to become the best knight that ever was. The lone wolf Felix with his quick-wit and sharp-tongue. All healthy and happy.

Byleth took a deep sigh. She knew the Blue Lion students well enough to be able to recruit them into her class if she wished to.

The thing was, she wasn't sure she did.

She couldn't have known for certain that her decision to join Edelgard was the right one. Even though she would appreciate the Blue Lions support as their companion, as their professor, Byleth didn't want the kids to get involved. Just in case, if her plan did not work, after all.

And even if it did, she didn't want Dedue and Dimitri to be all alone.

"Are you looking for someone, Professor?" asked a low voice inches from her ear.

On the inside, the professor jumped two steps away, readying herself for counterattack. On the outside, however, she calmly turned around to answer the posed question.

"Actually, I've been looking for you."

Dedue stood up straight, his expression that of a mild start. He and Dimitri glanced at one another.

"I see," said the house leader, giving Byleth a half-bow. "What do you want with us?"

"Oh, I meant only you, Dimitri," said the professor, wishing she wasn't caught up in the pronoun game. "Apologies, Dedue."

"None needed," the woman heard in response. "Your Highness."

As Dedue left to join in with the rest of the students, Byleth put her hand on the young prince's shoulder.

"So, tell me, would you fancy a cup of tea?"


	4. Chapter 4

Byleth lead Dimitri in the direction of the Dining Hall. When they reached the tea garden, she chose the most secluded table for them to sit at. The place wasn't overly crowded, but the woman hoped for a little privacy.

Without giving it much thought, the professor selected a tea type from her set. She put the leaves into the pot of hot water, let it brew for a few moments, and then poured some into both of their cups.

Intrigued, Dimitri leaned forward to smell the hot liquid. His face brightened.

"Oh, Charmeline! It's my favourite. How did you know, Professor?"

A lump formed in Byleth's throat. The woman shared her tea time with the Faerghus prince more times than she could count. She remembered his preferred topics of conversations, the small jokes he threw in to lighten up the tension, and even the embarrassed look on his face whenever she caught him staring at her. The saddest thing was, she was a complete stranger to him now.

Doing her best to sound casual, Byleth said, "Lucky guess."

Satisfied with the professor's answer, Dimitri carefully attempted to take a sip of his drink. Still, it was way too hot.

"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" he asked, sitting up straight.

The corners of Byleth's lips went up ever so slightly. Out of all her former students, he was the person she missed the most. She was sure she had many pleasant memories considering her time with the prince, even though she could not recall them all. Therefore, the professor reached out to the Blue Lions leader whenever she wasn't busy with her own house.

"I've just hired a new gambit of Seiros Mercenaries," said the woman, as she fidgeted with her teaspoon. "I wondered, what is your opinion on them?"

Dimitri smiled nervously as he started to explain.

"You see, Professor, I believe that the gambit you mentioned is…"

Unable to focus on Dimitri's words, Byleth's mind drifted elsewhere. Mere moments ago, while trying to build support with a new set of students, she realized something very important.

Out of the Black Eagle students, Byleth interacted the most frequently with Edelgard. In an attempt to get closer to the girl and make her open up, the two shared meals, collected pebbles, took part in choir practices, entered the weekly tournaments. Similar relations connected the professor with Hubert, Edelgard's right-hand man. When the woman taught the Blue Lions, however, her relationship with her house's leader was completely different.

While running after the other students to make them properly motivated or convince them to join her class, she never once ate lunch with Dimitri, not even once heard him sing. They fought numerous battles alongside each other, he saved her life in the Red Canyon. He always greeted her from the distance before she even saw him. Who knew exactly what to say when she grieved after the loss of her father.

The future emperor hardly ever avoided her teacher or made excuses to avoid talking to her, but she also never sought her out. Sometimes, Byleth was wondering whether her actions were welcomed or she was just a burden.

"Professor?"

Apparently, Dimitri finished answering the question, as he was looking expectantly at Byleth. The woman wished she listened more carefully to what he had said. She didn't feel like asking him to repeat himself, though.

Instead, a scene from last week came to her mind.

"My apologies. I was just remembering our cooking mishaps. Do you remember how I burned the fish?"

Dimitri stifled a chuckle.

"The whole frying pan caught on fire!"

"But you tried to eat it, anyway," said Byleth, slightly amused.

"Well, of course," replied her student, making a hand gesture for emphasis. "Something we put so much work into preparing was definitely worth a chance. It was a shame to toss it away."

"Something _I_ prepared," the professor corrected. "Your vegetables were both edible and nicely plated, whatever's your friends' opinion on the matter."

Dimitri cringed inside at the unpleasant memory. It had been a long time since he saw so much contempt in Felix's eyes. Ingrid put away her plate in disgust, and Sylvain would laugh at him for days to come. Mercedes and Annette had more decency and simply commented on his beginner's skills.

"I must say, this was quite embarrassing." The young man drank most of his tea at once. It tasted wonderful. "Please, don't ask me to cook again, Professor."

If the prince didn't want to prepare food, the teacher surely wouldn't make him. Still, his wish made her plans a bit more complicated to carry out. The woman made a resolution to make up for the time she lost. She would make new memories: the ones they'd both remember. Yet, there were so little hours in a day…

She took a sip.

"Alright, I promise I won't."

Byleth regarded Dimitri for a moment. She wondered how he would do at choir practices.


	5. Chapter 5

The sky was covered with heavy clouds. It had been raining on and off for several days now. The weather was just as gloomy as Byleth's mood. At least, nobody bothered her after she gathered herself up for a short walk around the monastery.

Wandering aimlessly through the courtyard, the professor was hoping to take her mind off the recent events. Father's death hurt just as much the second time as it did the first. This time, however, her grief was joined by a strong sense of guilt.

She knew the future.

She could have done more.

She definitely should have tried harder.

She chose another path, made many different choices. Why was the outcome still the same? How could there be nothing she could have done to save the one person she loved?

As if in response to Byleth's questions, Sothis's words rang loudly in her ears.

_You couldn't have saved him. It was meant to be._

The woman snorted, shaking her head. This was no destiny, it couldn't have been. Her father was definitely not destined to die from a stab on the back from a supposed ally. And if he was, then… she would rather not think what other events had been predetermined.

A raindrop fell on the professor's cheek, mixing with tears. She wiped them with the back of her hand and headed back to her room.

"I'm happy to see you here."

Byleth froze with her fingers on the doorknob. She was so close to returning to her own sanctuary without bumping into anyone. With a well-concealed sigh, the woman turned to her student.

"Did you need something?"

With arms on her hips, Edelgard looked the professor up and down, her brows slightly furrowed.

"My teacher, you've been crying again. This is no way to live your life. You must open your eyes at once! You're blinded by guilt and can't see what is happening around you. Please, don't curl up in the corner with no will to carry on. Or have you given up on all of us?"

Without giving her teacher enough space to even process her speech, the Black Eagles leader went on.

"I have no intention to join you in your sorrow. Soon, the time comes for me to move forward, and I expect you to be on my side. Will you join me? Or will you stand back and watch? I hope you make the right choice."

When she was done talking, the princess left. Just like that.

"What an arrogant child, speaking her mind with no regard to the consequences," said Sothis in an irritated voice. Byleth didn't bother to comment, though.

She felt like crying again.

The woman went into her room, closed the door, and lied down on the bed, not even bothering to take off her shoes. She's just had one of the most unpleasant talks to date She'd never been spoken to in such a manner, with so little consideration for her or her feelings. And there she was, naively thinking that she had formed some kind of connection with Edelgard. After the girl told her about her siblings and the nightmares that troubled her, Byleth hoped that she would soon understand at least some of the student's motivation. This belief was, the woman supposed, the main reason she felt more hurt than she normally would.

She literally jumped when she heard a knock.

"Go away," said the professor without moving a muscle. She'd had enough of Edelgard's mind for one day.

A troubled voice sounded from the other side of the door.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, but this is rather urgent."

"Dimitri?" Byleth was caught off-guard. She sat up without thinking. "Please come in."

The student accepted the invitation. He seemed unusually nervous, visibly uncomfortable to be in his professor's private chambers. He closed the door behind him but didn't go further inside.

"Professor, Lady Rhea is looking for you," said Dimitri. When he noticed Byleth's reddened eyes, he quickly added, "Still, if you don't feel like meeting with her yet, I'll think something up to cover for you."

The woman nodded, wondering whether she would be able to face Rhea at the moment. Meanwhile, the prince gathered enough courage to tell her the rest of the message.

"I'm very sorry for your loss. I wish I could have done something to prevent it." He took a small step forward. "Please know that I plan to stand by you and support your decisions. Even if it's revenge you seek."

Alarmed, Byleth stood up. She looked her guest in the eyes.

Months ago, the woman made a mental note to observe Dimitri carefully. She didn't remember what she should be looking for − until his comment on revenge.

"Revenge is not the answer to everything, Dimitri," she stated with emphasis.

The boy flinched, taken aback by her reaction.

"O−Of course it isn't, Professor." He cleared his throat. "I simply meant that I know how you feel. Four years prior, I experienced a similar pain."

_The tragedy of Duscur!_ Byleth thought. How could she have forgotten?

When he was the leader of her own house, Dimitri told her about the day his family and friends were murdered. In many gruesome details she wished he had omitted. In this life, however, he barely mentioned it at all. Byleth felt an irrational sting of jealousy towards her former self.

Dimitri gestured at the door.

"I'll leave you now. Take your time to grieve before you force yourself to move forward. We'll be waiting until you decide to return to us."

What he said, made Byleth notice something important. In many aspects, Dimitri and Edelgard were similar to each other. They both came from royal families, were the future rulers of their respective countries, and lived through an unimaginable tragedy that cost them the lives of their loved ones. Yet, the influences these tragic events had on them seemed very different.

Edelgard became cold and distant. She cared for her goals more than for her people. Dimitri, on the other hand, was full of compassion and understanding. He was giving her the time and space she so desperately needed.

Seconds later, the woman found herself hugging a very surprised and awkward-looking prince.

"Thank you," whispered Byleth as she let go.

"Y−Yes… Well, um, you're welcome, Professor," replied Dimitri, his face red, before he hurried out of the room.

"I see that the prince was able to cheer you up a little," said Sothis with a knowing smirk.

For the first time in days, Byleth's lips curled into a smile.


	6. Chapter 6

The first chance she got, Byleth hurried out of the room to get some air.

She'd never realized just how many male students there were at the monastery. Not until practically every one of them asked her to dance. The professor enjoyed the close proximity of men, and the opportunity to have a good drink was a good bonus. But even she had an upper limit. Being in the centre of attention was truly exhausting.

"Ah, here you are. You left in such a hurry."

In the door to the ballroom, there stood Edelgard. Apparently, Byleth's exit wasn't nearly as stealthy as she hoped.

"I needed a break," replied the teacher as the princess approached her. She looked lovely in the traditional uniform with red accents on her legs and shoulder.

"I don't blame you. It must be hard to be the life of the party." When Byleth said nothing, the girl added, "Honestly, I find it surprising that you didn't put people in place for constantly bothering you."

While the comment wasn't totally out of place, something inside her professor clicked. The thought that some of the students she danced with might not live to attend another event made her angry and defiant.

"I was glad to see all the happy faces of the people having fun and enjoying themselves. Who knows when another opportunity will present itself."

"The Garreg Mach Ball is an annual event," informed Edelgard with a soft smile. "I would say you'll probably have to wait until next year."

"Unless the Death Knight and the Flame Emperor destroy this place or kill us all. They wouldn't throw another ball then, now, would they?"

Byleth's words were followed by a deafening silence. The woman couldn't even hear the music coming from the ballroom.

"Yes," said Edelgard, visibly uncomfortable. She took a step back. "Well, I'm heading back to my date. Have a good night, Professor."

Not in the mood to bump into more of her students, the professor went for a short walk around the monastery. She was angry with herself for driving the Black Eagles leader further away. Without meaning to, the woman was punishing the girl for the crimes she hadn't yet committed.

Still, Byleth was unable to stop herself. The memories of her previous life were becoming a burden.

Without her conscious intention, Byleth's legs led her to the Goddess Tower. Every resident of the monastery was gathered in the ballroom, so this place was now dark and deserted. It made the woman feel a little uneasy, although she couldn't shake off the feeling that she'd been there before.

Byleth looked out the window to gaze at the night sky. She recalled her talk with the gatekeeper about the tower's legend. Apparently, if a man and a woman make a wish here, it is supposed to always come true. When the nice young man asked her who she'd like to go with, she told him that no one came to her mind. This was obviously a lie. There was someone she hoped to meet, but she dismissed it as being highly implausible.

The sudden footsteps made the professor jump. She hastily turned to leave when her eyes lied on the silhouette hiding in the shadows. For a moment, the woman could have sworn she saw a glimpse of blonde hair and a blue tunic.

"You're here, Professor!" a female voice greeted her.

When the student came to the light, Byleth recognized the visitor. Dorothea's beaming smile was contagious, and yet the teacher could hardly conceal her disappointment.

"Don't be silly," said Sothis, making her presence known for the first time this evening. "This could not have been him."

Undeterred by the lack of reaction, Dorothea asked, "You're here because of my letter, right?"

Confused, the woman asked, "What letter?"

The girl's eyes widened when the realization hit her.

"You didn't get it? Then this is just… a coincidence?" Dorothea's face fell and lit up again almost instantaneously. "That is so cool! It's as if destiny had brought us together."

"What an incurable optimist," muttered Sothis while stifling a yawn.

"What was in that letter?" said Byleth, ignoring both of them.

"You won't let me change the subject, will you?" asked the student with a sigh. "Okay then, I'll tell you. It's no secret that you caught my eye from the moment you arrived at Garreg Mach almost nine moons ago. So, I was wondering… have you already found a special someone?"

The professor blinked. She had no idea what to say.

"That's a rather personal question, don't you think?"

"Don't worry," stated the girl, dismissing her objections. "I won't tell anyone. I simply wanted to find out whether you're available before getting to know you better."

On the spot, this turned out to be a very awkward conversation. It was never easy for Byleth to tell someone she was not interested in a relationship. Thank the Goddess, she was saved the displeasure.

"You don't need to answer. I can already tell there is someone you're sweet on."

Suddenly, Dorothea seemed to be in a hurry.

"Well, still, I don't regret telling you. I mean, if I hadn't come here today, you might have never found out, right?" she said with a wink.

The girl's parting comment gave Byleth an idea.

"I know what you're thinking," said Sothis in a reprimanding voice. "This is not a good plan."

But Byleth didn't listen. She hurried down to reach her classroom. From the teacher's desk, she took out a piece of parchment and began to write. After putting the letter into the envelope and sealing it, the teacher headed to the students' dorm.

During her work as a professor, Byleth delivered many letters. Her first delivery was a love letter to Rhea herself, for crying out loud! Still, she would feel unusually self-conscious about handing this particular one. It contained a message that was very important to her. Watching the recipient read it and react to its content would make her uncomfortable, maybe even embarrassed.

"Having second thoughts, are you?" Sothis interrupted, startling the woman. "I'm telling you, nothing good will come out of this."

Slightly irritated with the Goddess's lack of support, the woman knocked on the door. For a few long seconds, she listened to her pulsing blood, hoping that nobody would answer.

Luck seemed to be on her side.

Byleth let out the breath she was holding. So, Dimitri wasn't home. Good. She didn't know if she'd have the guts to hand him the letter in person. She slipped it under his door.

_Author's note: I messed up the timeline, so you can pretend the last two chapters are swapped._


	7. Chapter 7

The moment the Flame Emperor appeared in the Holy Tomb, Byleth realized that, despite all her efforts, the history was going to repeat itself. Yet, she still refused to believe it.

_No, gods! Please, no…_

As Ferdinand's well-aimed strike knocked the mask off the Flame Emperor's face, everyone froze in shock.

"Edelgard! What's the meaning of this?" asked Caspar, his eyes wide.

"Why did you make use of us like that?" said Petra in her foreign accent.

"I'm sorry."

Apparently, these two words were everything Edelgard had to say in her defence. With a stone face, she went on.

"This is the path I cut for myself. My friends, know that I have no intention to fight you. I command you to obey my orders."

Nobody moved. The atmosphere was thick like the fog of war in one of their earlier missions. Byleth was the first one to regain her ability to walk. In several swift steps, she approached Edelgard. The woman's sword was pointing to the ground. She simply wanted to talk to her.

But then, Rhea finally caught up with the front lines. The spell was broken.

"How dare you betray the Church!"

The Archbishop's shouting resonated around the hall. Her posture was threatening, her face lit with madness.

"I'd never believe that a Hresvelg would act against the Goddess herself. Professor!" she addressed Byleth, who simply stood in-between her and the Empress. "Kill that foolish girl at once!"

Wide-eyed, the professor blinked. Her empty face showed no intention to follow Rhea's order. She was not a Knight of Seiros, and her mercenary moral code did not include punishing heretics. Moreover, Edelgard wasn't just another nameless face that she was sent to put down in the name of the Church. Everything inside of Byleth refused to kill her own student without hearing her side of the story. Without giving her a chance to defend herself.

"She is a danger to Fódlan," the Archbishop continued in a raised voice. "Such a rebel cannot be allowed to keep living!"

In horror, Byleth observed the woman's flushed face, clenched jaw, and glinting eyes. The leader of the Garreg Mach looked as if she completely lost her mind. At this very moment, the professor was terrified of her.

The Blue Lions and Golden Deer students caught up with the Black Eagles. Dimitri and Claude made their way to stand next to Rhea. They both stopped on the spot after noticing the true face of the Flame Emperor.

"I can't believe it! Edelgard!" shouted Dimitri, his expression darkened. Upon seeing Byleth standing side-by-side with his worst enemy, he quickly added, "Professor! How could you?!"

His voice was full of disbelief and anger. Yet, his face expressed a different set of emotions. Hurt, betrayal, and also utter disappointment.

Byleth was forced to lower her gaze. She couldn't meet his eyes.

"You traitor!" hissed Rhea, looking down at the professor, her pupils dilated. "You are yet another failure that needs to be dealt with. I will not tolerate your presence in the Holy Tomb of the goddess Sothis."

"Please listen−" said Byleth, trying to explain.

Her breath was taken away by the view before her. The Archbishop went berserk. She transformed into her dragon form right before the woman's eyes.

"I'll rip your heart from your chest!" roared the beast at the top of its voice.

And then, it attacked.

In one leap, the dragon closed the space between herself and the enemy. Its claws were inches from the professor's torso, ready to cut flesh and break bones. Instinctively, Byleth drew the Sword of Creator, prepared to block the blow. But this mere protection wouldn't be enough, she was sure of it.

_I'm about to die_, she thought with shock and regret. Both of which failed to leave a mark on her ever-stoic face.

She heard people screaming, felt someone grab her by a shoulder, and then she was surrounded by total darkness.

_This seems familiar_, thought the professor, recalling the emptiness in which she met Sothis a lifetime ago.

"My teacher! Are you hurt?"

Byleth flinched, startled. This was not the Goddess's voice. And there was only one person that addressed her in this manner.

Having blinked several times, she found that her eyes got accustomed to the low intensity of light. There were two people standing right in front of her. Edelgard, scanning her up and down for any signs of injury, and Hubert, who hadn't let go of her shoulder.

"Where are we?" asked the professor, looking around a half-empty room. "What happened?"

Edelgard glanced at Hubert, who remained silent. The Emperor provided their teacher with answers herself.

"Hubert transported us to a provisional camp. This will be our base for the time being. We need to regroup as soon as possible and plan our counterattack."

"You have our deepest gratitude, Professor," said Hubert with a bow. "We've accepted the possibility that you might side with the Church of Seiros and the Immaculate One. Your support of our cause is a pleasant surprise."

Having realized what she'd done, Byleth was close to panic.

_Now what?!_

She couldn't go back to the Garreg Mach, that much was more than certain. The question was, what are the other Houses going to do after today's events. The professor didn't remember. Most probably, they would join forces with Rhea in order to take down the Empire. Even if they didn't, though, she had no business with Claude. They barely knew each other in this timeline. And Dimitri thought her a murderer's accomplice. She was no one to him. Despite how much she wished he'd care for her, he didn't anymore.

"Did you see what happened to the Archbishop?" shouted Caspar to Linhardt, and it was at that moment when Byleth realized they were not alone.

"S−She was sooo s−scary!" uttered Bernadetta with a yelp.

"What is it that will happen to us now?" wondered Petra.

Dorothea looked left and right, and then she asked, "Has anyone seen Flayn?"

"We should discuss our next move, Lady Edelgard," stated Hubert, indicating with a gesture that they should talk in private.

"Yes, of course," replied the Emperor, as she followed him to the exit. "Please, excuse us, Professor, everyone. Soon, we'll answer all of your questions."

"Please, wait," said Byleth, catching up to them on the other side of the door. Whatever this place was, it was just as dark on the outside as it was on the inside.

Edelgard and Hubert stopped in their tracks.

"What is it, Professor?"

The Emperor watched her teacher carefully, probably expecting her to change her mind. What the woman wished to tell them, however, was even more difficult to voice.

"I won't pretend that I understand why you declared war to every nation in Fódlan," stated Byleth in one breath. "I'm sure you have your reasons. However… please consider this. Your actions have even more far-reaching consequences than you anticipate. The conflict will last for years, and countless of lives will be lost. Friends and foes alike. However hard you try, you'll never be able to foresee and account for every single outcome. If only you could change your methods to non-violent−"

"That's enough," insisted Hubert, his lips pursed up.

"The non-violent methods do not speak loud enough," said Edelgard calmly. Her tone suggested that she was explaining something obvious to a stubborn child. "For our voices to be heard, sacrifices have to be made. Thousands of people will die but millions of future lives will be freed as a result."

When Byleth did not reply to her statement, Edelgard went on.

"We appreciate your being here, Professor, but your presence is not essential to our plans. If you do not share our views, then leave. The war's already begun, and we're going to win it no matter the cost."

In one sentence, the Emperor dismissed her teacher, her opinions, and her worries. She was not their professor anymore, Byleth bitterly realized.

She'd failed her mission. The times of peace at Fódlan were over and there was no way of changing it. Countless of lives would be lost. Including the Blue Lions, who were left without her guidance. The woman didn't see any sense in redoing her life anymore.

All she could do was weep.


	8. Chapter 8

The knowledge about the Battle of Garreg Mach and its aftermath did not help at all.

"Professor, look out!" Byleth heard Edelgard scream as the ground collapsed under her feet.

This was her last memory from before the incident. In the eternal slumber, the shards of one's former life were of little to no importance.

Just like the passage of time.

It had been forever before she opened her eyes. After she woke up, Byleth had no idea why she was lying on the river bank, soaking wet, or how on earth she even got there. It took her a few moments and a short talk with a villager to come to a sad conclusion.

For the second time, she was robbed of five years of her life. Five years during which Fódlan fell into ruin, as the Adrestian Empire murdered and robbed entire villages. Five years in which the Leicester Alliance existed only on paper, the Holy Kingdon of Faerghus was changed into the Faerghus Dukedom, and the monastery students were doing their best to simply survive.

But, Byleth reminded herself, all of this had been the case the previous time around. Before she had a crazy idea that one person could change the future of several nations.

"I need to go back to Garreg Mach," she said more to herself than to the frightened villager, whose objections missed her ears completely.

_Something must be different now, _she'd been telling herself over and over_. Something must have changed._

Whatever that mysterious _something_ was, however, it surely didn't include the monastery.

The place was in ruin. Every building she passed was marked by the former battles. Broken windows, missing roofs, holes in the walls, blood splattered across the floor. Deserted classrooms, where she used to give lectures, were covered in dirt and dust. Empty corridors and dormitories seemed devoid of life. This forced Byleth to pose a terrifying question.

How many of their residents had she already failed to save?

As the woman walked up a familiar set of stairs, she immediately noticed the evident absence of soldier corpses. She sped up at once, taking two steps at a time, until she reached the top.

The bright light blinded her. Undeterred, the professor covered her eyes, searching the shadows in haste.

But Dimitri wasn't there.

The feeling of betrayal was hard to shake off. Even though deep down Byleth had long realized that the prince of Faerghus from the present time was not the person she'd remembered. Despite all her efforts, no matter what she did, he owed nothing to her. And, most importantly, he'd never promised to meet her at the millennium festival.

With a heavy heart, the professor walked around, looking for any signs of people.

"Who's there?" sounded a sharp voice from behind the closed door. "Show yourself!"

Byleth readied the Sword of the Creator before making her way inside. With the blade ready to strike, she froze. Before her stood the Adestrian Emperor, her eyes wide and face pale as though she just saw a ghost.

"Professor?" said Edelgard at last. "I've search everywhere for you. Where have you been?!"

For the first time since her father's death, the professor felt like a scolded child.

"I was dead. As good as, at least."

"How can you be joking?" asked her former student, although this time she didn't wait for an answer. "It's been five years! Five years since you disappeared without a trace. Do you have any idea how I felt after you were gone? How broken my heart was?"

Byleth tried to say that it wasn't really her idea to enter a five-year-long slumber, but Edelgard cut through her words.

"No matter. I'm happy to have you back, my teacher. Let us tell the rest that you returned to us."

The professor was given no time to ponder on the fact whether she wanted to be back or not. She was lead to a room occupied by a group of people. Familiar faces started to appear around her despite the fact that she was not ready to see them.

Hubert spoke first. "It's good to see you alive and well, Professor," he said with a bow.

"I can't believe you're here," added Bernie, being uncharacteristically bold.

"Nor can I!" shouted Caspar, who showed up next to her. 'It's a dream come true."

It was an unusual experience, seeing the kids all grown up. Especially that Byleth neither looked nor felt any older than they were now.

"It wasn't the same without you," stated Ferdinand cheerfully.

"I'm happy you're safe, Professor." Linhardt took a pause to make a yawn. "Everything's easier with you around."

"Welcome to the back!" said Petra in her broken English.

Dorothea sprang to the front. She greeted the professor with eagerness. "It's been ages! Seeing you brings back hope."

When she was at last given some room to breathe, Byleth couldn't get over the glaring contrast between the way Edelgard and the rest of the Black Eagles greeted her. While everyone else was first and foremost happy that their teacher was fine and well, the Emperor's initial reaction was to give the woman a self-centered, accusatory speech. As if she'd disappeared on them on purpose.

Before Byleth could ask any questions of her own, Edelgard filled her in with the details about their current situation.

"For all this time, I've done my best and fought with everything I had. I will succeed in setting the humanity free from the false goddess. However, the joined forces of the Kingdom and the Knights of Seiros lead a strong opposition against the Empire. In addition, it would be highly problematic if the Alliance abandoned their neutrality and were to support our enemies. We need to strike them down as soon as possible."

One bit of information got Byleth's full attention. The Kingdom fought against the Empire?

"Who is… the head of the Kingdom of Fearghus?" she asked with caution.

Edelgard blinked at her. "King Dimitri, of course."

The woman couldn't believe what she'd heard. Dimitri became the King of Fearghus! This information brought her joy and sorrow at the same time. She was more than glad that he wasn't consumed by the demons of his past. However, with a sting of pain, Byleth was forced to acknowledge that the man was apparently much better off without her on his side. For the first time, she wondered whether it could have been her disappearance that had broken him. The guilt, the search, the wait. Was she the reason he'd never left the monastery?

Or rather, the reason he'd come back after escaping imprisonment?

"Our next target is the capital of the Leicester Alliance," said Hubert, bringing Byleth's mind back to the present. "We will conquer Derdriu and get rid of House Riegan, who oppose the Empire."

The rest eagerly agreed. The Black Eagle Force Squad seemed enthusiastic to fight alongside their newly reclaimed professor. It didn't seem to matter that they'd have to slay innocent people, including their former classmates. Even though her face didn't show it, this thought terrified Byleth.

Especially that she didn't believe in Edelgard's cause. While the Emperor's end goal of freeing humanity sounded tempting, the professor disagreed that it justified her means. Switching sides was not an option, though. No one in their right mind would take her in; not after she tried to protect Edelgard. Therefore, she'd have to stay and save as many people as she could. This was the woman's own personal purpose from now on.

* * *

It hurt to meet her friends on the battlefield. To strike down Ignatz, to wound Leonie, to take the smile out of Hilda's face. But it would have been even worse if she didn't make it to them in time. Where Byleth injured to force flight, the Imperial soldiers aimed to kill. Edelgard's forces took no hostages.

But the worst was yet to come.


	9. Chapter 9

_Rewind._

Kneeling in the mud, her hands soaked in blood, Byleth felt the tears of frustration falling down her cheeks.

_Rewind._

She wasn't running fast enough. Fresh blood spattered all across her face.

_Rewind._

This time, the blood was her own. Consciousness was slipping between her fingers.

Still, she refused to give up.

_Just a little bit further, damn it! _she screamed on the inside, begging Sothis's power to cooperate. _This time I'll make it, I swear._

Byleth was at the beginning of the fight now. The Adrestian Empire versus the Kingdom of Faerghus. The battle began with Edelgard's orders.

"Annihilate everyone. Leave no general alive, including King Dimitri!"

The troops advanced with caution. Rainy weather and muddy terrain hindered their movements. The Kingdom's reinforcements emerged from the forest much sooner than expected. The time was running out.

"Thrust forward!" shouted the Emperor. "We have to reach the generals before we're overwhelmed."

She rushed her horse, leading the front lines through the bridge. Without thinking, Byleth ran after them. Suddenly, their path was blocked not by a handful of soldiers, but by a group of Demonic Beasts. They changed right before her eyes, screaming in pain. Just like Sylvain's brother.

"Dedue! What have you done?!" Dimitri shouted over the falling rain. He looked just as mortified as Byleth felt.

The professor had no time to fight the beasts, though. She turned to Linhardt.

"Warp me behind them!" she ordered, breathless. "As far as you can."

The mage obeyed without a second glance. Once there, Byleth cast a quick Thunder to hinder the monster's defenses. Otherwise, it would inevitably finish Caspar off with its attack.

The Knights of Seiros make their presence known, flanking Edelgard's battalion from both sides. Ferdinand and Bernadetta stayed behind to deal with them. The professor altered her path to block Rhea's finishing blow on Ferdinand. Although it was raining heavily and the visibility was limited, Byleth had the battlefield memorized. Running along the slippery road while avoiding the enemy soldiers, the woman hoped she could make it in time.

"Edelgard, stop this madness!" she heard Dimitri's voice, who refused to strike without a word. "The path you cut for yourself is filled with nothing but corpses. Must you continue to conquer, to kill?"

"There is nothing I would not sacrifice for Fódlan's new future," replied Edelgard, towering over him. "Nothing and no one. Farewell, King of Delusions."

The Emperor raised her weapon, ready to strike. For a split second, Byleth saw a flashback of a very similar scene. A mirror image of the one before her. A defeated Edelgard kneeling in front of Dimitri. The difference was, Dimitri was extending his hand to her, as if she was a wounded comrade, instead of trying to finish her off.

"Stop!" Byleth shrieked with all her lungs.

But it was too late. Dimitri fell to the ground right before her feet. She kneeled next to him, hoping that his armor took most of the impact.

"Dimitri…" The woman struggled with words. This was the first time she got to the King when he was still alive. "How do you feel? Can you − stand?"

"Professor," Dimitri said in a little more than a whisper. "Tell me, I must know. Why did you choose Edelgard?"

_Why didn't you choose me?,_ his eyes seemed to ask where his voice betrayed him.

"Things didn't come out the way I planned," she admitted bitterly.

The man gave a short, humorless laugh. "I could say the same."

Unable to hold his gaze, Byleth looked away. Her heart stopped. Where Dimitri lied, there was a growing pool of blood.

"Gods, no!" she said in a new state of panic, leaning down to examine his shoulder. She found a deep cut in-between his armor plates. The professor pressed the wound to stop it from bleeding and shouted to anyone that could hear her, "I need some help in here!"

"Stand aside, my teacher!" ordered Edelgard, who observed the scene from a distance. "He's our enemy."

Byleth ignored her, busy with keeping Dimitri still. Despite her protests, the man moved his arm to reach into his pocket. With some difficulty, he pulled out an old piece of parchment and handed it to the professor.

Visibly confused, she unfolded it. She recognized it instantly. This was the letter she wrote to him what seemed like a lifetime ago. The letter where she told him how much she cared for him and promised to protect him, even if they ended up fighting against each other.

"You kept it," Byleth whispered.

"So it was from you, after all. I'm glad," Dimitri admitted. His smile was genuine this time.

"You knew?"

"I suspected. Or hoped, rather. You must know that−"

"Please don't talk! "she said hastily, scared by his sudden paleness.

Yet, he continued, undeterred.

"I always wished we had more time. If things were different, if we could meet again on the same side of the battlefield... Thank you, Professor. I leave the future of Faerghus… no, the future of Fódlan… in your hands."

"Nooo!" Byleth's cry terrified even Edelgard, who stood motionless, unable to comprehend what was happening before her.

With all of her might, the professor concentrated on the Divine Pulse. But she was totally out. There was no longer anything she could do.

Many questions spun in her head. Why did it have to end like this? Why him? Why Dimitri?! She protected all of her former students, even managed to save Claude. And then, near the very end, she failed to keep the person that was most precious to her − alive.

"Sothis!" she called with a cracking voice for the goddess that no longer existed. "Take me out of here!"

* * *

_Author's note: To the people that expected Byleth to "fix" the Black Eagles path:_

_I wrote this fanfic as a response to my thoughts and feelings during the game. After playing the Blue Lions route first, I jumped straight into the Black Eagles path to learn more of the story. To my surprise, I found that I can't fully enjoy the new set of characters because I miss the group I started with. This was especially true for the house leader. Although I didn't care much for Dimitri at the beginning, he grew on me after I witnessed all the little things he did for Byleth. It was surprisingly hard not to be able to interact with him during my second playthrough. Needless to say, the unavoidable death scene was heartbreaking._

_Therefore, instead of going the "usual way" presented in many stories, where Byleth uses her experience and knowledge to fix things, I decided on the contrary. There are things you simply cannot change. New Game Plus reflects this idea perfectly well. I hope you enjoyed!_


End file.
